I am the lonely man of faith
B”H
My arms stretched to their limit reaching to my Creator while the two cold hands bitterly embrace my ankles. Knuckles clinched with fear and desire.
Deep feelings overwhelm me today as I sit, eyes filled with tears, longing for the one whose gentle words quietly whispered in my ears. But my enemies have risen against me. They have raised their heads against me, as the wolf raises its head at the sounds of his unwitting prey.
My faith is lonely, my road is solitude. I reach out – only to be crushed by the fear of the brood.
My teacher’s words resonate within me, these deep feelings, and these tears… this pain is the mikvah of my soul… But the water of my tears grows deep as my soul calls out to me “I am downing in the murky waters of this mikvah…. Save me, save me, save me….”
Its barely discernable mutters cry out to be saved from the anguish that this life drives so deeply down to its core. Crushing hope while wearing the smile of insincere relationship. Like the tight grip of the salesman whose only intention is one of self servitude, the smiles of my enemies pierce to the depths my soul.
I am crying out to you Abba. Comfort me, give me strength, give me wisdom. Help me to understand this mirror that I stare so deeply into and why I am so afraid of what I see.
Help me to understand my King… who you have destined me to be. Help me to understand how to embrace the test of this life. Help me in spite of those who hate me to move my one eighth.
Help me oh Lover of My Soul. Help me to find my way home to you. As a wife that has been separated from her husband draw me to your embrace. Help the faithfulness of my heart to find its way home. Home to your oneness.
I am the Lonely Man of Faith… In this life I stand alone…. No one to hear my cries. But I choose to always seek your face. I will always desire you my G-d I will always call to you.
I will always stand lonely in the shadow of maybe.
My arms stretched to their limit reaching to my Creator while the two cold hands bitterly embrace my ankles. Knuckles clinched with fear and desire.
Deep feelings overwhelm me today as I sit, eyes filled with tears, longing for the one whose gentle words quietly whispered in my ears. But my enemies have risen against me. They have raised their heads against me, as the wolf raises its head at the sounds of his unwitting prey.
My faith is lonely, my road is solitude. I reach out – only to be crushed by the fear of the brood.
My teacher’s words resonate within me, these deep feelings, and these tears… this pain is the mikvah of my soul… But the water of my tears grows deep as my soul calls out to me “I am downing in the murky waters of this mikvah…. Save me, save me, save me….”
Its barely discernable mutters cry out to be saved from the anguish that this life drives so deeply down to its core. Crushing hope while wearing the smile of insincere relationship. Like the tight grip of the salesman whose only intention is one of self servitude, the smiles of my enemies pierce to the depths my soul.
I am crying out to you Abba. Comfort me, give me strength, give me wisdom. Help me to understand this mirror that I stare so deeply into and why I am so afraid of what I see.
Help me to understand my King… who you have destined me to be. Help me to understand how to embrace the test of this life. Help me in spite of those who hate me to move my one eighth.
Help me oh Lover of My Soul. Help me to find my way home to you. As a wife that has been separated from her husband draw me to your embrace. Help the faithfulness of my heart to find its way home. Home to your oneness.
I am the Lonely Man of Faith… In this life I stand alone…. No one to hear my cries. But I choose to always seek your face. I will always desire you my G-d I will always call to you.
I will always stand lonely in the shadow of maybe.
posted by Scott A. Detwiler at 12:02 PM
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